Crash Bandicoot versus Parappa the Rapper Iron Chef Style

I played this commercial during The Obsolete Gamer Show #2, but I had to give it its own post just because it made me spit coffee on my screen when I first saw it. From what I can tell there is a cook off between Crash Bandicoot and Parappa the Rapper. However, neither seems to know what they are doing and they seem to be using weird ingredients.
Is it just me or does Crash look high in some of the shots? Perhaps he has been hanging out with some of Parappa’s friends or maybe the Dude you’re getting a Dell guy. Also I would think that Parappa would have an upper hand in cooking considering he was taught to rap by an onion guy. Maybe I am reading too much into this.
Another thing, is it just me or does the Playstation man creep you out? I mean he just looks really weird and that dance he does frightens me. The one thing we do know from the commercial is that in the end when the lady tries the food she hates it to which the Playstation man replies “Stop being a baby”
If any Japanese fans out there want to translate this we’d be forever grateful.
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Japan… my brain just exploded.