The first things people usually notice about me: My lack of shame. The others told me my entrance was too slutty, but they are just jealous bitches. My name is Joy not Sister Mary Kate and with a body crafted by Ukrainian gymnast it would be a crime not to show it off.
The Gamers Guide to Sex
Surprise sex can be fun when it is wanted and legal. However, with the gamer it can go 50/50. Here are a few examples. You are playing a console game and your girlfriend is frisky and begins pushing your buttons. It is a simple matter to pause the game and have a little non-digital fun. On the flip side, you are in the middle of your StarCraft 2 tournament match and your boyfriend is poking at your boobs. This is a bad time and will most likely get you yelled at and a faction loss, which might result in no sex even once she is done with her game.
The Bain of stickers on Consoles
Today you can find some cool skins for consoles that make them look badass. That is not what my console looked like. At the time, I was also big into baseball cards and some of them came with stickers. I thought it would be cool to put them on the system. For about one day, I thought it was cool and then quickly regretted it. You would think getting stickers out would be easy, but it wasn’t. I ended up with a much worst system than in the first picture and I did not know any of the tricks to clean it up.
Five Don’ts of gaming
You are not going for a Twin Galaxies record so when you decide to have a retro game night with your friends do not show how you can beat Super Mario Bros 3 with one life because it will just piss us off and make us retaliate on you. On the other hand, if you want to school your friends in a game of Temco Bowl go right ahead.
Don’t Copy That Floppy!
Remember the days of the Bard’s Tale 3 copy protection wheel and having to go into manuals to enter a word to prevent… more »
Games & Candy 2: Digital Deliciousness
So in the first edition of Games and Candy we talked about the different kinds of sweets you could munch on while playing your favorite games. This time we take a look at candy within games. Now we know games are marketed to kids and teens, but everyone can love video games just as everyone can love candy. Just like food, candy has a deep root within games sometimes as the main focus of and sometimes just tossed in there because they can.
Fake Video Game Boxes: Vol 1
It’s been done a ton of times on message boards and seeing many cool and funny one’s myself I wanted to showcase some fake video game boxes on OG.
Classic Videogame Politicians
Mike ran on a platform of cleaning up the streets of Metro City and he meant to do it in the blood of his enemies. I guess when you can body slam all your opponents into the concrete and kick an arrow shooting wheelchair bound man out of a high rise you are bound to win the popular vote. Jesse Ventura said Mike was his “Regan” and followed in his footsteps. Currently there has been some scandal as Mike has been seen hiking the appellation trail and caught at other fighting tournaments instead of governing. Mike tried to appease his constituents by giving them the WWE channel for free, but in the end he had to quit after only two years as governor due to “distractions.”
The New Characters of UMvC3. Wait, Phoenix Wright?
Early this morning, EventHubs revealed much information about “Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3″, a $40 upgrade/downgrade to its predecessor depending on opinion. They… more »
I’m Becoming A Korean (Gamer)
Basically, for the past month or two my girlfriend has been alien to me so I’ve reverted back to my old girlfriend: MY… more »
Castlevania: Symphony of the Night gave me a boner
I believe this creature was created after someone went on a blind OKCupid date and was fooled by a MySpace angle. This creature is easy to beat and has an attractive upper body and a horrible monster for a lower body. When you hit her and kill her, she turns and moons you and you realize baby’s got back.
Mega64: Heavy Rain
These guys make excellent parody videos where they take what you would do in a game and act it out in real life.
Here is their latest video on the game, Heavy Rain.
Horrible Video Game Names
This Dreamcast game is actually pretty fun to play and let’s just be truthful, there are some geeks out there who would have no problem getting down with a robot. Just listen to how the guy says the name of the game and the name of chapter 1 is called, It’s not fair.
The top non-slutty female characters in video games
It’s always a Top 10, a Top 5 or a Top 100. Not this time though. This is a Top 7, and it’s about the Female Game Character; an endangered and usually stripped down to its panties species. This is different, as this post will not be about Lula, Lara or any other two-syllable named bimbo. It will be about interesting characters, that even a woman (gasp!) could enjoy…
Lost In Translation: Vietnamese Pokemon Crystal
Poorly subtitled bootleg copies of games and videos are all lying something in the darkest, dustiest corner of your closet. It’s hard for some to admit that they’ve acquired these counterfeit but we’ve all done it at some point or another. Why pay full price when you could just as easily get a rip for $5? Isn’t bootlegging what keeps Chinatowns across the US afloat? How we strive to keep the American dream alive if we don’t indulge immigrants by purchasing their fine wares?
Now Robots Can Play Kinect, Too!
When Microsoft announced the Kinect, a lot of people thought that this was going to be just another peripheral gimmick. In reality, they were correct. It really was just another peripheral gimmick and a way to bring in another competitor in motion based gaming. The original intent of the Kinect was to just have some good gaming fun. In the world we live in, though most things that have an original intent get pushed into another direction by an opposing force. For the Kinect, this opposing force is a community of hackers that enhanced its capabilities. I am sure we’ve all seen things that people have managed to do with Open Kinect.
Why I Prefer Video Games Over Board, Card, and Pen & Paper Games
I grew up playing a ton of board games, card games, and pen-and-paper RPG games but for many years now I’ve been sick of playing them and have favored video games ever since multiplayer and playing online against other people became abundant.
Things you do in MMOs you wouldn’t do otherwise
One time I heard a guy talking with his girlfriend for hours about how he can split his time between, work, school, sex and World of Warcraft. I found it funny he didn’t say “girlfriend” or “relationship” instead he said sex.
Alone in the Dark
Life After
One
OG Comments